Quiet & Peaceful……
With so much going on inside my head as of late it has become increasingly difficult to focus on one specific task. My mind keeps jumping from one thought to the next, over and over and over again. Never stopping, never resting, always on, switch broken.
To top everything off, I got a message from someone this weekend past that I considered a very close friend, someone who knew me, and knew me well. She has been going thru a rough spell in her work and home life and hasn’t had the time to sit down and catch up with me. That much is fine, it is her life, and for the past while I have been doing my best to stay out of her affairs, as my meddling could cause more harm then good, not only to her, but to her son as well.
We talked a bit, and were making plans to go for coffee sometime soon to actually sit down and catch up properly. Which is something I am actually looking forward too. Hopefully I can sit there with her and just chat, catch up, push all other thoughts out of head, at least for the little bit of time I have with her.
There are still many other things floating through my head, thoughts, worries, hatred, anger, rage, ………. Many things I cannot control, many things I cannot help, and others that I am not sure I have the strength to get through. Only time will tell what happens when my fears morph into reality, and I am forced to deal with a great many of things all at once.
Will I have the strength to pull through, if not will I have the support to push me through, or will I, like I have in the past, shut down for a while,have a system overload, and wait for a reboot to keep on going.
So many questions, no little answers, so many frustrations, so much anger and rage……
Sigh, as a friend and I were chatting last night, we both agreed it would be much better if we could rewind until we were 8 years old. Everything was simple back then, Saturday Morning Cartoons, Mac and Cheese, when hot dogs went with everything, no worries, no respondsabilities, just quiet & peaceful existence
