Powerless…..
Really don’t know what to say anymore,
- Four people whom I truely believe know me better then I know myself…..
- Four whom I can confide in…..
- Four I can trust…..
- Four I can count on…..
- Four that I know will be there with arm extended when I fall…..
- Four people that know all of the deepest secrets…
And of those four people…
- One of the four people, I talk to in passing…
- One has passed on from this world…
- Two will be passing on well before their time…
I know my math may not he the best, but four minus one minus one minus two equals zero.
I sit and I wonder who I will turn to for guidance, for strength, for support. I certianly hope that I will have the inner strength to get thru not only one more friend passing, but two more friends passing. It will be very hard and when the time comes I hope I have the strength to push forward, to remember the good things that they have done, to remember their good times, the laughs, the walks, the chats, the pictures.
Only time will tell what will happen, and in that time I will ensure I am prepared and ready.
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No one ever knows what to say to a friend that is hurting… they can say, I know how you feel, they can offer a hug, they can offer a shoulder to cry on, but they can never replace the ones that have been lost, the ones that are being lost… life is hard, unfair, and full of hard choices…. you choose who your friends are, you are here, but you can also choose to back away, not talk to any of us, and be completely alone, and no one wants that for you… not at all.
I can only understand so much, and help so much, but you are the one that has to choose who you trust. I know that I am your friend, but I know you do not trust me like others.. and god I know why… Tim, I know its hard know, and I know it will get harder…if you choose to reach out, I am here, if not, I will still be here. No matter how much you push us away, we will still be here… just ask Tim.